postcard from j: what men want

men think its quite a task to understand women and to know what we want. but here's an attempt to figure out what men want...


still reading? a long time ago, i had registered on some site which proudly proclaimed of trying to make the world a smaller place. as with most things on the internet, i registered and promptly forgot about it. till one day, i re-discovered an email from them. with a 'lets go check it out' attitude, i added some details about myself and for timepass, updated some stuff for the local dating section. and forgot about it again. days later, i check my inbox and whoa! what do i have in my junk mail folder??? about 25-odd emails from boys/men (call them what you want) asking to get in touch with them. initially, i was pissed reading some of them and hit the delete button faster than the speed of light. then i came across some absolutely hilarious ones...meaning some guys could actually attempt writing like that to a girl. here are some samples {pun intended, bambaiya style}:

I.
Hi! Myself 25,Single,Highly Educated, Software Engineer By Profession,Staying Alone in Mumbai. Open Minded,A Bit Aggressive,Bit Risky,Bit Daring,Bit OutSpoken & Loves To Talk Straight. Someone Who Believes in Values. Yet Always Loved By The Best In The Business !!!! Gals Say I M Handsome!! Babes Say I M Sexy !! Women Say I M Hot !!!!!! N Everybody Say I M Just Lovable.......Would u like to be my friend?? Then do get back at xyz@something.com. will wait for ur reply. [~j~: had me in splits]

II.
hi miss i am a Professional..... working in a Reliance infocomm Ltd ,,,,,,,,, looking for a girlfriend who must be ambitious and Caring..................... You Can also mail me at pieceofcrap@relianceinfo.com [~j~: ambitious and caring? what's that again?]

III.
I am S, working @ Mumbai as a game developer. Movies, musics, travelling are my interests. I like to have new friends, so if you are interested in the same please reciept me with ur mail. Hope u wont deny me, regards, S [~j~: hope i won't deny him??? what? his daily bread???]

IV.
hello swati i am Nilesh from mumbai would u like to be my friend? if yes than reply me soon or call me on my cell 9### bye nilesh [~j~: who the hell is swati? didn't even get my name right, lol]

hmm...what would we women do without these wonderful men and their priceless wisdom?


ps: some names and all email ids have been changed to protect the stupidity and ignorance of those quoted.

Comments

Anonymous said…
rotfl!

I get these kinda mails too, through orkut, and some of them are so funny its unbelievable!

From random mails that say "cute smile" to mails that introduce the guy's entire khandaan...

Worth a laugh, though! ;)
Anonymous said…
Awwww !! Muhahahhahahahahha....
Everyone goes thru that phase, and many get lucky too in getting stupid girls to reply back. Whatever happened to chivalry and the subtle art of courtship. These things have so taken the fun out of flirting. Try going to a Mumbai Chat room with a girl id, and see your screen splattered with BUZZ! messeages. People who name themselves HotRanjit and BIGXXXWHATUWANT and other shit.. It was like "what, chicks really respond to that ????" if they do, then they are probably not my type. My other (self proclaimed sensible) bachelor friends tell me to stop reading these medieval fantasy books about Knights saving kingdoms and winning favours from pretty ladies, or else I may never get to flirt! I say, I'll start looking for a girl who reads the same books....
What say you ?
~j~ said…
@ranju - yeah, the ones you shared yesterday were quite a blast :D

@thakkar - i say, do your own thing, buddy...as long as its not cheesy. the 'knight in shining armour' concept ain't that bad if only men remember to not be that way all the time. walk on...
Anonymous said…
@Gurpreet: that was lovely. Too bad most mean don't see it this way, and instead we have this myth of the woman as a whimsical creature and with one sole aim - bamboozle the men!
geetu said…
he he he he.. u were rite... the post made me laugh my heart out!!!!
but the wierd part is i think all of us (gals) rcv mails/pms like these!!! dont these guys have anything better to do!! do they really think these msgs r gonna make us swoon LOL!!!
ps : i wanna do my mba in HR... ;-) but no coll wants me!! thts y tryin to get some kinda wrk ex.. n try again!
bablu said…
Not all guys( N' gals for that matter) are the same though.
vishnoi said…
hey.. got to ur blog via thakkars .. amazing piece :P loved the 1st one.. the chap surely had loads of *qualities*

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