Thursday, January 28, 2010

Some days just bring you down!


Today, I came in to work with much optimism. I don't know why or how that happened - could be a good night's sleep, waking up to a lovely morning, and the unexpectedly pleasant weather we're having in Mumbai these days. 2010 was beginning to feel great. Or I thought it did.

But the rest of the morning left me blank. B-L-A-N-K. One email is all it took to ruin my optimism, to dampen my reviving spirit. And no, I am not shocked by what I read. In fact, I expected it all along, but maybe that hint of optimism (that I disguise in my overt pessimism) left me taking it for granted that some things might never happen.

All this sounds vague. And I'm sorry for that, dear reader. But I can't disclose what has actually transpired that I need to vent here. I just had to find an outlet for saying all this. I couldn't bring myself to do anything for a good couple of hours post that email. I stared at the screen trying to get my day started, hoped for a major distraction to come my way, even stepped out of the office and spent a few minutes alone in a quiet corner where no one could find me. Damn, even lunch was mechanical today. And all I could type on Twitter was "Breathe!" That's the last thing I told myself as I read that email hours ago after almost picking up my bag and deciding to go home.


Dear D,
I don't know what triggered your email. And the reason is not even important.

 When I saw the subject line, I felt a strange feeling coming over me and crossed my fingers hoping it was a forward or a joke. Alas, it was what I expected and have been dreading for a long time. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you because I was livid and sad at the same time. I may not be able to fully explain why I'm angry about this, but I'm sure you understand.

You are an inspiration and a great friend to have. I count myself lucky to have known you. I wish you well in your quest. And hope your dreams become a reality.


Yours,
~j~

PS: The first website I checked today was this. Ironic! And the image above has one of my favourite quotes... this one's for you!

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